Monica explores seven common types of inner critics, from the Perfectionist to the Destroyer, and explains how each one is trying to protect you in its own misguided way. Learn how recognizing and addressing these critics can lead to healing and personal growth.
Monica explores seven common types of inner critics, from the Perfectionist to the Destroyer, and explains how each one is trying to protect you in its own misguided way. Learn how recognizing and addressing these critics can lead to healing and personal growth.
Savvy Psychologist is hosted by Dr. Monica Johnson. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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If you're someone struggling with mental health, you may already be familiar with that critical voice inside your head—the one that never seems to stop pointing out your flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, and often leaves you feeling powerless. But what if I told you that these inner critics are actually trying to help, in their own misguided way? That’s the premise of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapeutic approach that helps people understand their inner world by recognizing the different “parts” of their psyche, especially the inner critic.
Welcome back to Savvy Psychologist, I'm your host, Dr. Monica Johnson. Every week on this show, I'll help you face life's challenges with evidence-based approaches, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.
In IFS, the inner critic is seen not as a monolithic force but as multiple “parts” that have developed over time to protect you from emotional harm. These parts may have good intentions, but their methods are often counterproductive and can cause significant mental health challenges. Below, we'll explore seven common types of inner critics, why they exist, and how understanding them can be a step toward healing.
1. The Perfectionist
Voice: "You're not good enough unless you’re perfect."
The Perfectionist inner critic is relentless. It sets impossibly high standards and keeps you in a cycle of self-blame when those standards aren’t met. Whether it’s in your work, relationships, or personal life, the Perfectionist believes that being perfect will earn you love, validation, and protection from criticism. However, the truth is, it leaves you feeling like nothing is ever enough. This part may have been born out of early experiences where you felt only accepted when you were at your best.
Impact on Mental Health: Living with a Perfectionist inner critic can lead to chronic anxiety, stress, and even burnout. It can also cause procrastination because if something can't be done perfectly, why bother trying at all? It’s a mental trap that feeds feelings of inadequacy.
2. The Taskmaster
Voice: "Keep pushing, or you’ll fall behind."
The Taskmaster is the part that drives you to keep going, no matter how tired, stressed, or overwhelmed you feel. It’s like having a drill sergeant in your mind, constantly reminding you that if you don’t work hard enough, you’ll fail or become unworthy. For many, this part develops in response to societal or familial pressures that equate success with self-worth.
Impact on Mental Health: Over time, the Taskmaster can lead to workaholism, burnout, and chronic exhaustion. It often leaves little room for self-compassion or rest, exacerbating feelings of stress and worthlessness if you're unable to meet its demands.
3. The Inner Controller
Voice: "You need to keep everything under control."
This critic's main goal is to suppress desires or impulses it deems dangerous. It might attack you for wanting to rest, enjoy yourself, or indulge in something pleasurable. The Inner Controller believes that letting loose or expressing certain desires will lead to criticism or emotional harm. Often, this part emerges from experiences where emotional expression or vulnerability was met with punishment or rejection.
Impact on Mental Health: The Inner Controller can make you feel guilty for enjoying life or taking care of yourself, feeding into cycles of shame and guilt. Over time, it can rob you of joy and make even small indulgences feel like moral failings.
4. The Underminer
Voice: "Don’t even try. You’re just going to fail."
The Underminer is the voice that holds you back from trying new things or putting yourself out there. It believes that by keeping you small and invisible, you’ll be safe from criticism or failure. It may have developed in response to past experiences where taking risks led to emotional pain, like rejection or embarrassment.
Impact on Mental Health: This critic keeps you stuck, preventing personal growth and perpetuating feelings of low self-worth. The Underminer’s constant voice can lead to missed opportunities and reinforce feelings of helplessness and depression.
5. The Guilt-Tripper
Voice: "Remember that thing you did? You’ll never make up for it."
The Guilt-Tripper is the part that constantly reminds you of past mistakes, big or small. It replays scenarios over and over in your mind, making sure you feel bad about them. This critic fears that if you forget these mistakes, you might hurt others or be hurt again.
Impact on Mental Health: The Guilt-Tripper keeps you locked in cycles of regret, shame, and self-blame, making it difficult to move forward. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness and contribute to depression and anxiety, as you constantly relive the pain of the past.
6. The Conformist
Voice: "Fit in, or you’ll be rejected."
The Conformist critic pushes you to blend in, follow the crowd, and avoid standing out. It believes that being different will make you a target for rejection, judgment, or ostracization. This part likely developed in response to situations where you felt judged or excluded for being different in some way.
Impact on Mental Health: The Conformist can lead to anxiety about being judged or rejected, making you afraid to show your true self. Over time, suppressing your individuality can lead to feelings of isolation and identity struggles, feeding into anxiety and low self-esteem.
7. The Destroyer
Voice: "You’re worthless."
The Destroyer is the most severe of the inner critics. It attacks your core sense of self, making you feel flawed or unworthy of love and respect. This part often develops from traumatic or deeply painful experiences, where you were made to feel that something was fundamentally wrong with you.
Impact on Mental Health: The Destroyer can lead to deep depression, self-hatred, and despair. It can make it difficult to build self-esteem and may contribute to harmful behaviors like self-sabotage or self-harm.
These inner critics may sound harsh, but in IFS, they are seen as parts of you that are trying to protect you, albeit in harmful ways. They developed in response to painful or challenging experiences, often in childhood, and believe that by being critical, they are keeping you safe from further harm. By being aware of these parts of yourself, introducing compassion rather than judgment, and engaging in therapy to discover deeper insights of yourself, you can work towards healing and quieting those critics.
Which of these critics are causing you the most trouble, Let me know! You can contact me via Instagram @kindmindpsych or via my email at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.com.
The Savvy Psychologist is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. It's audio engineered by Steve Riekeberg, with script editing by Brannan Goetschius. Our Podcast and Advertising Operations Specialist is Morgan Christiansen. Our Digital Operations Specialist is Holly Hutchings and Our Marketing and Publicity Associate is Davina Tomlin. Follow Savvy Psychologist on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. That's all for this episode of Savvy Psychologist. Thanks for listening! I'll see you next week.