How do you know if your therapist is right for you?
Are you struggling to find the right therapist? How do you know if your therapist is right for you? Here are five things to keep in mind as you seek therapy.
Savvy Psychologist is hosted by Dr. Monica Johnson. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Have you been wondering what to look for in your next therapist? Welcome back to Savvy Psychologist, I'm your host, Dr. Monica Johnson. Every week on this show, I'll help you face life's challenges with evidence-based approaches, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.
I received this question from a listener recently: “Can you please do an episode on how to find a therapist who is a good fit. I’ve been struggling to find the right one.”
Finding a therapist that is the right fit can be difficult at times. I will walk you through a few things to consider when you are searching for one. However, sometimes fit has a bit of magic sauce to it, just like anything else. Use this information to empower yourself as you seek therapy.
Type of therapist
One confusion that many people have is the various types of therapists that exist.
For instance, I’m a psychologist. Psychologists primarily have doctoral degrees and go through several years of training before even being able to use the title of Psychologist. We typically complete three 10-12 month practicums which are 16-20 hours per week and a year-long full-time 40 hours or more per week internship prior to graduation and then we must complete a full-time postdoctoral fellowship and various testing before we are fully licensed and can use the title of Psychologist. In terms of years, most psychologists have done anywhere from 5-7 years of training and thousands of hours of direct clinical experience before we are released into the world.
There are various master’s level therapists as well. The main ones that you will hear are social workers, mental health counselors, marriage and family therapists, and creative art therapists, though this isn’t an exhaustive list. While requirements may vary based on the state, most of these therapists complete 2-year programs with the second year being an approximately 600-hour internship prior to graduation. After graduation, they will often have to be supervised for 2-3 years and complete testing before being fully licensed.
Regardless of background, all therapists could be beneficial for the problems you are showing up with. Don’t assume, for instance, that a psychologist is a better fit for you simply because we have more years of training. I’ve had Nurse Practitioners that I felt were a better fit for me than Medical Doctors. The same principle applies here. It’s important to understand your therapist's background simply so that you are an informed consumer.
Area of specialization
Area of specialization is something to consider in some cases. Keeping my medical metaphor alive, I will say that anxiety and depression are like the high blood pressure and diabetes of the mental health world. Unless you have a severe or atypical presentation, basically any therapist is able to help in these cases.
There are certain instances in life when I don’t want to see a generalist. I could see my PCP for a pap smear, but I am way more likely to want to see an OB/GYN because they are a medical doctor that specializes in women’s health. This is a concept to keep in mind based on what type of problem you are having.
For instance, if you have an eating disorder like anorexia, you’d want to see someone who has experience treating those cases. Other examples of cases where you might want someone who specializes in a particular area could be severe cases of OCD, developmental disorders, perinatal or postnatal care, multiple traumas, and sexual dysfunctions. This is, again, not an exhaustive list.
Special populations
When I say special populations, I mean anyone that isn’t cishet, white, vanilla, and adult.
If you’re looking for a therapist for a child, which is typically anyone under 12, then you should find a child therapist. There is overlap on the types of interventions that work with adolescents and adults, but working with children is its own thing. The interventions for a 5-year-old are very different from those for a 25-year-old.
There is still a lack of research as it relates to the issues faced by historically marginalized people. If you are BIPOC, queer, or poly for example, and these are identities you’d like to explore in your treatment, then it would be beneficial to find someone who has experience working with these populations. For example, you may want to explore the effects of systemic racism on your mental health or you’re a sex worker who wants a therapist that will be affirming and not judgmental about your lived experiences. These are all worthy things to pursue when looking for the right fit.
When you are reading their websites or bios online, it is typically pretty evident if the therapist works with marginalized populations or not. If you were to visit my practice website, you’ll see info related to BIPOC, LGBTQIA, alternative lifestyles, etc. We work with these populations regularly. If you don’t see yourself represented in the information a therapist has online, it’s usually not the best sign that they would be a good fit. Cultural competency and social justice advocacy is not something that is done silently, it’s done proudly and loudly.
Style/personality
The next thing to consider is the therapist's style or personality. Do you want a therapist who is more or less directive? I’m a very directive therapist. Most patients pick me because I tell it like it is and I give them solutions to reduce their suffering. However, some folks want nothing to do with me for that same reason. They prefer a therapist that is more of a blank slate, that will ask exploratory questions, and almost never reveal their thoughts or opinions on anything. Perhaps you want a therapy that is less verbal and more body based, so you will want to meet with a therapist that is somatically focused. This is really where I believe the magic sauce comes in for most people.
Manage expectations
My last word on this is to manage your expectations. Whenever someone is trying a new therapist, I encourage them to meet with them for at least a handful of sessions to allow time to get comfortable in the new environment and allow the two of you to warm up to each other.
I have seen people who come to therapy and expect to have some profound revelations from the first session. That’s not how therapy works and if your expectations are off, it’ll make it hard to find the right fit. You should see therapy like the season of an American TV show—there will be some epiphany episodes, a couple cliffhangers, and a smattering of filler episodes to get us over the next hump. You need all of these in order to have a full character arc because becoming the person you want to be takes time.
What are you looking for in your next therapist OR what do you love about your current therapist? Let me know on Instagram @kindmindpsych. You can also reach out to me via my email at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.com, or leave a voicemail at (929) 256-2191.