A follow up to last week’s episode on the “Build Mastery” skill.
A follow up to last week’s episode on the “Build Mastery” skill.
Savvy Psychologist is hosted by Dr. Monica Johnson. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
Have a mental health question? Email us at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.com.
Find Savvy Psychologist on Facebook and Twitter, or subscribe to the newsletter for more psychology tips.
Savvy Psychologist is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.
Links:
https://quickanddirtytips.com/savvy-psychologist
https://www.facebook.com/savvypsychologist
https://twitter.com/qdtsavvypsych
https://www.kindmindpsych.com/
If you've ever felt disheartened in your journey towards personal growth, know that you are not alone. The road to mastering new skills and building confidence is often winding and filled with hurdles, and it's completely normal to face challenges along the way. With that in mind, as a follow up to my previous episode on Build Mastery, I am going to talk about some of the common pitfalls that folks fall into when trying to accomplish goals and what you can do to work around them. If you haven’t listened to the previous episode, don’t panic, you can find a link in the show notes.
Welcome back to Savvy Psychologist, I'm your host, Dr. Monica Johnson. Every week on this show, I'll help you face life's challenges with evidence-based approaches, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.
When practicing the Build Mastery skill that I discussed last week or likely any strategy that has a similar aim, people can sometimes make mistakes that hinder their progress. Being aware of these common pitfalls can help in effectively using this skill for personal growth and emotional regulation. Here are some of the common mistakes:
Setting Goals Too High: One of the most common mistakes is setting overly ambitious goals that are difficult or impossible to achieve in the short term. This can lead to feelings of failure and frustration, which are counterproductive.
Not Acknowledging Small Achievements: Some people overlook or dismiss small achievements because they don’t seem significant enough. However, recognizing and celebrating even the smallest successes is crucial in building self-esteem and motivation.
Inconsistency: Failing to engage in mastery activities on a regular basis can diminish the effectiveness of this skill. Regular practice is key to building and maintaining a sense of competence.
Choosing Activities That Don’t Interest You: Engaging in activities that you don’t enjoy or find meaningful can make the process feel like a chore, reducing the likelihood of experiencing a sense of mastery.
Lack of Patience: Mastery takes time and practice. Some people expect immediate results and become discouraged when they don’t see quick progress.
Ignoring Personal Limitations: While it’s good to challenge yourself, it’s also important to be realistic about your current abilities and limitations. Taking on too much too soon can be overwhelming.
Neglecting Self-Reflection: Not taking the time to reflect on what you’ve learned from an activity, how it made you feel, and how it contributed to your sense of mastery can limit the benefits of the experience.
Comparing Yourself to Others: Focusing on how others are performing in similar activities can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Mastery is about your personal growth, not how you stack up against others.
Not Adapting to Changing Circumstances: If an activity becomes too easy or no longer relevant, it’s important to adapt and find new challenges that are more suited to your current skill level and interests.
Ignoring the Role of Mindfulness: Not practicing mindfulness during mastery activities can result in missing out on the full experience and benefits of the activity, as mindfulness enhances engagement and focus.
By being aware of these mistakes, individuals can more effectively use the Build Mastery skill to enhance their sense of competence and contribute positively to their emotional wellbeing.
However, before you email me asking questions about how to workaround some of these common mistakes, I’ve mentioned. I’ve already taken time to give a few simple ideas for each one.
Setting Goals Too High: Start with small, achievable goals and gradually work your way up. It’s important to set yourself up for success, not failure. Small victories can be incredibly motivating.
Example: Instead of aiming to run a marathon right away, start with jogging short distances and gradually increase your mileage. If all the running you know how to do is away from problems or toward trouble, keep that in mind. Start small! I hate running and when I started, I couldn’t even do a quarter mile.
Not Acknowledging Small Achievements: Celebrate even the smallest successes. Recognize that every step forward is progress, no matter how small it may seem. This reinforces positive behavior and builds confidence.
Example: Celebrate after successfully cooking a new recipe, even if it's something as simple as a pasta dish. If you couldn’t boil water before today, this is an achievement.
Inconsistency: Establish a routine for your mastery activities. Consistency is key to developing any skill. Even a few minutes a day can be beneficial if done regularly.
Example: Set a specific time each day for your chosen activity, like practicing guitar for 15 minutes every evening. I always suggest starting with the smallest increment that you know you can maintain. Don’t judge it.
Choosing Activities That Don’t Interest You: Select activities that you find enjoyable or meaningful. You're more likely to stick with something that you look forward to doing.
Example: If you enjoy nature, choose hiking or gardening as your mastery activity instead of forcing yourself to do something like knitting. However, if you’re building mastery at something that you don’t have an innate pull towards, remember WHY you’re doing it. For instance, I mentioned hating running earlier and one of the reasons why I do it is to improve my cardiovascular health. It’s my personal belief that most people can get to a physical state where they can run a 5k, even if you have to walk/jog to do it.
Lack of Patience: Understand that mastery is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and recognize that progress is not always linear. There will be ups and downs.
Example: If learning a new language, appreciate the progress of learning a few new words or phrases each week, rather than expecting fluency immediately. I understand wanting to have quick and steady progress, but the quickest way to get nowhere is to stop. Be okay with measuring yourself in inches instead of miles at times.
Ignoring Personal Limitations: Be realistic about your current abilities. Start with what you can do now and gradually increase the difficulty as your skills improve. This prevents feelings of overwhelm and frustration.
Example: If new to exercise, start with low-impact workouts before attempting more strenuous activities.
Neglecting Self-Reflection: After completing an activity, take time to reflect on what you did, how it made you feel, and what you learned from it. This helps in understanding your progress and adjusting your approach as needed.
Example: If you were trying to become a more accomplished photographer. After each photography session, spend time reviewing your photos, noting what you liked and what you could improve next time.
Comparing Yourself to Others: Focus on your own journey. Remember, Build Mastery is about personal growth, not competition. Everyone's path is different.
Example: Focus on your own progress. One of my favorite quotes is from Hemingway, “There is nothing superior in being greater than your fellow man, true nobility is being greater than your former self” There will always be someone stronger, faster, but unless you’re trying out for the Olympics that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you can track your own growth and see where you were and how far you’ve come.
Not Adapting to Changing Circumstances: Be flexible and willing to adjust your goals as needed. If an activity becomes too easy or no longer relevant, find new challenges that interest you.
Example: If you set a goal to read more this year, and a certain book genre becomes uninteresting, switch to another genre that keeps you engaged in reading.
Ignoring the Role of Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness while engaging in mastery activities. Being fully present and engaged enhances the experience and the benefits you derive from it.
Example: If you were gardening, consciously focus on the feel of the soil, the plants' textures, and the outdoor scents to enhance presence and enjoyment.
By addressing these common mistakes with the above solutions, you can make the most of the Build Mastery skill, leading to improved confidence, competence, and overall emotional well-being. Remember, the goal is personal growth and finding joy in the process of achieving and doing, rather than solely focusing on the end result.
How are your new year’s resolutions going? You can contact me via Instagram @kindmindpsych or via my email at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.com.
The Savvy Psychologist is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. It's audio engineered by Steve Riekeberg with script editing by Brannan Goetschius. Our Podcast and Advertising Operations Specialist is Morgan Christiansen. Our Digital Operations Specialist is Holly Hutchings and Our Marketing and Publicity Associate is Davina Tomlin. Follow Savvy Psychologist on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. That's all for this episode of Savvy Psychologist. Thanks for listening! I'll see you next week.